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Middle of the road

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When your full length world comes tumbling down and out of your heels, you are free to pick up the destroyed pieces and remake the life you are craving for.

Our stories are not controlled. Their going to happened excactly how its supposed to be happened.

We all went throughout of dreadful things, but then sometimes, something else come along and gives us just the right nudge. Friendship, career, opinion, feelings, place, inspiration.

Deep down you know these are the differences in our lives. You no longer seek to think beyond your own boundaries. The welfare of thinking deeply is a step up in being a survivor of loaded past. These thoughts and emotions directly applicable to how, what, why, when we share to help to understand ourselves.

You know, nobody is sent by accident. Speaking and thinking open on deep and personal level escape you from walls you are locked inside. Inside your own prison. There are people who you feel comfortable talking to and the colloquy just seems to flow smoothly, naturally, endlessly, relaxed, pressure-free and heart to heart pointed. Those people are not only weathered friends, but people we rely on. Those who helping with the typhoon that`s destroying you inside. We all have some demons we are  trying to find way of exorcising them. Gets them out and feel free and safe. Its the one race we hope, that we get a chance to win. Mind to mind conversation helping become a survivor of loaded past. These conversation helping you to create things that have sharp end, things that people suffering any disorder will connect and will stop failing apart. 

I had stay up last night and have tried to write my heart out. To grant myself to the freedom. To stop feeling so broken down into depths of hopelessness. Because  every day I  realise that I  don`t want to alienate myself from the ones I love. But my past is continue to haunting me. I would do anything to wipe out those pieces, move on and releases the held back emotional damage. I would do anything to bring me back into my body when I have anxious feelings of floating into thin air. Anything that helps me to crawl through the mud to get to the better side. Especially when the walls are closing around me and I am battling with myself  pretending that past it doesn`t destroying me. I am trying to lose myself in my career to tell myself that the past doesn`t matter. Its like leaving an infection untreated or ignored. I don`t know how I am going to win this but I try to start the day by thinking about all the things I am greatful for and the ones I just know their would be there for me anytime.

My advice to you is:

Don`t feel like you are dead and no more alive in this foggy internal world, break the fear of communication and don`t feel scared to express your feelings. There are some intelligent and talented people who paying attention and simply listening and and understanding. You will learn to be bigger than yourself and the life it has been given  to you is a gift and you must make the most of it. Remember, that you can never completely know the past and their struggle of the people who seems untroubled trying to help you. "Choose wisely who you surround yourself with"

                                    "Real friends care enough to care when things are rough"

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